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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?